Gifts...

"It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving." 
~ Mother Teresa


When I was preparing for my very first visit with my son and his family, I decided that it was important for me to share a part of family history with them. I made sure I had all sorts of pictures of grandparents...great grandparents...aunts...uncles...cousins, his sister and his brother...but I also wanted to give each one of them something from the generations...something personal...something that would be a connection to family. I would also give them each something new from me. Each gift was given from my heart.

When my son was younger he attended art school (my daughter, younger son and myself are all artists!). He shared a photo with me of himself at 12 or 13 years old where he was doing a drawing for school. It was a drawing of buildings and a bridge...I had an Uncle who was also an artist, who did pen and ink drawings. I had one framed for my son as the family heirloom that I gave to him. For something new I gave him a journal and a new pen...he writes wonderfully, although I know he has little time to do so, at least he would have this wonderful leather journal to jot down thoughts in.

For my daughter-in-law I gave her a beautiful antique bud vase that had been my grandmothers. Something she could use and remember the blossoming of our new relationship. For the something new I gave her a copy of one of my favorite books....Gifts from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

My oldest grand daughter was given a heart shaped necklace that my father gave me when I was 13 years old, the same age that she was now. I also gave her a book...Wreck this journal by Keri Smith...a book that challenges the reader to think outside the box with art and writing.

My grandson who was 10 years old received a watch...a Disney watch of Mickey Mouse as a fireman spraying a hose that pointed to the numbers. This watch had once belonged to my Mother, and it represented my Father who was a fire fighter. I also gave him a survival bracelet...which is a bracelet made out of rope...so in case you ever need a length of rope because you are lost in the woods or something you will have it right there on your wrist.(something every boy needs!)

My littlest grand daughter was 5 years old. And like most 5 year old girls she loves tea parties. I had a tea service for two when I was a child. It was done in the blue willow pattern that was the china that my grandparents had. This set was given to my mother as a child and then passed on to me...and now I was passing it on to my grand daughter. (my own daughter was never interested in it) For something new, I gave her a book also...Brave, which just so happened to be the movie that had seen while they were out for the day.

I wanted them ALL to know how excited I was to have them in my life. I have to admit that I had kept Gerard 3 days old in my heart. Even though with each passing year I knew how old he was, I always referred to him as "the baby" or "my baby" so mentally I did not associate a wife and children with him. When I saw his picture for the first time on the Internet, I finally had to commit to myself that he was a grown man...he was not "the baby"...He was a grown man with a family of his own. This was a gift sent to me...a bonus...a package full of more love. I also now had 4 more people to get to know and I had to learn how to balance it all with the life I had been leading for the past 42 years.
I think my son said it best..."You have to be willing to completely change your life as you know it in order to have a successful reunion."

The day I had to leave the farm to return home was so difficult for me. No one talked about the departure,( they were heading back home for a week also) we just set about doing the tasks that needed to be done in order to leave. The time finally came to leave and my son walked me to my car, which was parked in the same exact spot as where I arrived. We stood in the same area where we met and we hugged...we held each other tightly...I said I didn't want to leave...he said he didn't want me to leave, but we both knew that I had to...I told him that I loved him...and he said he loved me also, he just wasn't prepared for how much he was going to love me...my heart broke as I left...I was leaving him once again...this was a familiar feeling that I did not want to feel...we had made plans for them to come to my home to meet the extended family in only 4 weeks and yet I could not shake the feelings of abandonment...I cried for the first hour on the drive back home.

We talked that night to let each other know that we arrived home safely...we talked that night to hear each others voice and to let each other know that we loved them...

To say that all this was emotional...seems like it is saying to little...