The kiss...

There was a boy who went to these events who liked to tease me a great deal. He went out of his way to give me a hard time about being a Harvest Queen; about how honored he was to have such a noble person sitting across from him at a picnic table. He made me laugh, he made me defend myself verbally, but most of all he made me feel special with his attention. We both had a quick wit and could banter back in forth with a sort of dry sense of humor.  He was not someone I had ever even talked to before that end of summer. He use to sit behind me for three years in chorus and I do not believe we ever said hello to each other once in that time. This was one of the "smart" boys, this was someone I did not consider in my dating circle, this was someone that I did not feel I had anything in common with. Yet, there we were flirting with each other whenever the situation was presented to us. My liking him would break all the rules I set up for myself, so even though there was an attaction I tried to stay at arms length. I tried not to show that I actually liked him.

Summer had ended and so did those gatherings. School began in September and it was back to business as usual. For me that meant that I went to school, took my required classes and then went home to the secret creative life I had. I would draw and write in my room, neglecting anything that had to do with school. Accept English class, which I adored because we read the most interesting books, and there were discussions about them, it was the only class that meant anything to me.
A very good friend of mine suggested that I attend a school dance because there was someone going that liked me. She wouldn't tell me who, even with a great deal of questions and prying on my part. I had not attended a school dance since my freshman year, but my curiosity got the better of me. I made sure I picked out just the right mini skirt and top, to go along with my twiggy hair style and make-up.

Once I arrived there I found a group of kids standing around together that were part of the summer gatherings. There he was, the boy who, had made me laugh so much over the past month. We stood there awkwardly in the group not saying much directly to each other, we didn't dance, we didn't joke, we simply stood around. So, here I was at a dance at school, which was unfamiliar and my friend wasn't even telling me who was there who liked me and I couldn't find any reason to stay. I was uncomfortable there and wanted to leave. As I was getting my coat, one of the boys asked me how I was getting home. I had walked there from my house and I was planning on walking back home. He didn't think it was a good idea for me to do that and offered me a ride. Perhaps this is who likes me I thought, someone I would never have thought of.   Offering up our good-byes to those in the group we started to leave and the boy, who had teased me, also started to leave. Seems that this was his ride also. I sat in the front seat between these two boys, wondering could it be the driver or the other passenger that my friend said liked me.

Once we arrived at my house, the boy who teased me so much got out of the car, he was the passenger, and he walked me to my door. This boy who barely uttered two words to me all night long, said goodnight to me and leaned in and kissed me. That kiss knocked me off my feet. That kiss made my heart pound, my knees go weak and took my breath away. That kiss made this 17 year old girl light headed and dizzy.  These were feelings that I had never experienced before from a kiss.

That kiss was the beginning of my first real feelings of love.