just long enough to make me love him.
we had only touched the surface
~and yet, he is in my depths forever.
The last 6 months have been a roller coaster ride of emotions...what was once found is now locked away again...
For a relationship that started out so positive to have ended so negative breaks my heart...and no one wants to hear my words even though I have heard many (none of which are from my son)...and that is very sad...but there have been so many silver linings that came with this reunion...so many lessons learned and corners turned...
I now know who my son is...and parts of his life story...I was blessed to have held him in my arms and heard him call me Mom and tell me that he loved me...I have met my grandchildren, and although I may not have a role in their lives I can rejoice in the memories of them...I have let my 17 year old self be healed...to know she did nothing wrong and that she was and is loved...I have allowed myself to heal the hurt that I carried for 43 years...
Sometimes things don't turn out the way we would have liked them to...but I know that things are constantly happening/changing...some things are starting and some are ending...I just can't see all of what is going on right now....and I have to wait and have hope and faith that the future will work out...and I will wait...
I will wait forever...
I will tuck the love away in my heart instead of the hurt this time...and I will continue to love from a distance...I will continue to allow my heart to be open no matter how long it takes...
I will continue to choose love...
