to know or not to know...

I remember when I was in the 5th grade, Mr. Thomas, was my teacher at #16 school. He was an Englishman who was teaching in America. We were studying ancestry. We were told to ask our parents where our ancestors came from. When I asked, my Mother promptly told me...We are Americans...you tell him that! So, back I went the next day and listened as everyone in the class was telling their ancestries ...Irish...English...German...and when it came to my turn I said American...No, he told me..you must be mistaken, you have to be more than that...well, that is what my Mother said to tell you was my reply. (there was laughter in the class room...was it because I said that is what my mother said to tell you or was it because I did not have an answer?) You need to ask her again he told me...home I went and said where are our ancestors from? My Mother once again said America...Now, I suppose in the 5th grade I was smart enough to go back to school and tell Mr. Thomas anything I wanted...who would know the difference...I marched into the class with my head held high went up to Mr. Thomas and said very clearly...My Mother said that we are Americans...I was born in America...She was born in America as was her mother, her grandmother and her great grandmother...as was my fathers family...So my ancestors are from America...he did not ask me again. So what is my ancestry? Really I have very little idea...I do know that there is some English...some Irish...a little Lithuanian ...and Cherokee...a mixed breed...a mongrel of sorts! I learned some of it over the years from my grandmothers...

Now imagine that you are adopted and you have no idea what your ancestry is, and you have no one to ask. (Even if you got the answer that your ancestors were from America!)  Would it bother you? Would you want to know? Would it make a difference in any way?

While I was visiting my son, I asked him why he choose to search.  He said he was not really curious till he was around 18 and became more curious as he got older. Who did he look like? Who were the people he got his eyes and height from...who did he get his love of art or his way of thinking from...was he curious about ancestry...just to a certain degree...but it came down to more about finding another person that he looked like and who he was like in different ways.

I know a great many people who have gone to get lengths to explore their family tree. I am not one of those people, but I do understand it to a certain degree. Knowing where we descended from is a curiosity to me, but not a make it or break it deal in any way. I am who I am not because of my ancestry but because of the sum total of my life so far. I believe that is the same for Gerard, but that is only my opinion. And I believe that we all have the right to know our ancestry and to be able to search it out if it is important to us. But to do so, we have to know our parents names...and perhaps even their parents names. Adoption erases that and so there is no way to find out unless you are reunited.

So, just how important is ancestry to you? And do you have the names of your parents so that you can do that searching?

Here in New York State all records are sealed and an adoptee is not allowed this information. And once again our ADOPTION RIGHTS bill did not make the floor to be voted on this year...but there is always next year. Our voices just need to get louder!