A surprise birthday gift...

"The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us." ~ Ashley Montagu


A month had passed since my son was at my house. We had phone conversations every week during that time. It was now September and my birthday was approaching...my son was back at work, and summer was coming to a close...several days before my birthday I received a phone call..."watch for snail mail" he said..."we just sent out your first birthday gift!" My first gift from my son (well actually it was not my first gift as he purchased a t-shirt for me at a small fair when I was at the farm for the first time...It was during this time that I purchased his first ice cream cone...all simple purchases, but all milestones in my memory now) ...my first birthday that we were celebrating as mother and son!...it wasn't long before the phone rang again and the caller ID displayed his name..."what are you doing on Wednesday?"  That was 4 days away...I laughed and said well...I just wasn't sure. "how would you like to come to our house?"

There had been a death in my daughter-in-laws family...and could I come to watch the kids and to visit? Could I come?...let me see how fast I can pack my suitcase....before I left to go my birthday card and gift arrived in the mail...There was some wonderful body lotion and soap that I discovered in France and they found it here in the states and sent it to me! (I had shared that I so loved this product with my daughter-in-law) and there was a birthday card from the kids and one from Gerard. Now I have to throw this in the mix...since I was a little girl I have loved monkeys...not so much real monkeys but stuffed monkeys...funny monkeys...it all started with a birthday gift of a stuffed monkey I received in the 4th grade from my friend Janet...and there on the front of the card that my son sent me...monkeys! It made me laugh right out loud! The outside envelope was addressed to: Pattie Mosca with an arrow that pointed to the name..."that's my mom!" inside he had written me a letter which started out..."here it is your long overdue first birthday card. Sorry I've been out of touch for the past forty odd years, but honestly I couldn't find your address." (did I mention that humor is a very important thing in my life!?!) He wrote about being excited and comforted to have me actively in his life...how he thought perhaps it would not be a possibility in his life that would happen (this is the same thought that I had many times) and he talked about celebrating new things in life when "trusty supports" do not seem to get that celebration. He was celebrating his newly found family...with no slight to anyone else. He closed by saying: I love you mom...I am glad to see you, hear you, and share with you. With wonder, joy and excitement...your son, Gerard.

So off I flew to NYC...I would stay for a week...I watched the children while my daughter-in law was out of town and my son was at work...even home schooling did not go so badly! That weekend, there was a party planned for me...I was now being introduced to family and friends (Gerard's parents and siblings were still not comfortable with meeting me yet...I understood that) I did however meet my daughter-in-laws family and so many friends...AMAZING! Everyone who was there already knew our story...most knew that Gerard had been searching for me for 11 years...everyone was happy for us. Questions were asked...Do you read a lot? ...Yes I do...so that is where he gets that from! Do you say..."there is always a choice" or "its all good"?...Yes I do...and your political views? Does he get those from you too?!...laughingly I knew he and I shared a great many of those!

There are quite a few similarities that we have...and yes, we have a resemblance to each other...oddly enough, out of all my children, he is the most like me...the one child that I did not raise. I find that so interesting...bringing up that age old question of nurture verses nature. I have always thought and believed that a person was shaped by their environment. That the house that they grew up in was where they not only grew but also found out who they were. That the nurturing one received shaped and formed them into the person that they were to become. That nature had little to do with anything. It didn't really matter that your mother had blond hair and you had brown or that your eyes were a different color from another member of your family. That some members of the family were tall and others were shorter had little to do with who you were as a person. That the way you were nurtured brought forth your qualities and beliefs. That your surroundings balanced who you were and how you thought. I believe now that genetics have much more to do with that...that genetics have more to do with the person that you are then I had thought possible...my son, the biology teacher, laughs because he has always known that!

One of the other wonderful things that happened during my stay was that I went to the school where he works...I met his colleagues, (who already knew who I was) they sang his praises...they told me how happy they were for the two of us...I met the principle who immediately came up to me and said "you must be mom" and he gave me a big hug...best of all I met students who approached him in the hallway and he introduced me..."This is my Mom" and some of the girls cried and all were very excited for us...This was a day I will never forget...

Everyone already knew me...unlike my side of the adoption triad...very few people knew of him before our meeting...He was my "secret" wish...I was his wish.