Smiling...

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all which have the potential to turn a life around."
~ Leo F. Buscaglia


Today would of been my husband's 64th birthday...he passed away just before his 62nd one...

Today, I will honor his birthday...I will celebrate his life...I will celebrate my time with him...I will celebrate, and although I miss him terribly I will not be sad...for what would my life have been had I not had him in it? Does that mean that the age old saying of: "it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all" hold true in this case...well, I suppose it does!

A year after my husband passed was when I reunited with Gerard...I look at it as my husbands gift to me...I believe that he watches over me...I have said before that he was a big supporter of mine...he held my hand and dried my tears over the years that we were together when I would sink into a depression over the adoption...I think of that depression today and I realize a great many things...

I am not an "angry" birth mother... but rather I believe that I was a "sad" birth mother...I believe that the depression came from the fact that I had no idea how he was...I had no idea if he was well and happy...if I could get a glimpse into his life perhaps that would of helped...but then perhaps that would of hurt more...I always held in my heart that his parents loved him dearly...that he was provided for and loved beyond measure...and I am happy to know now that he was!

Today as I celebrate I know that my good husband is smiling down on me...smiling because he is not forgotten...smiling because he gave ME a gift of LOVE!

Smiling because there is so much love surrounding me today...